My Search for Hope
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| Photo: Diego Cervo |
My name is Scott. I am a 30 year-old Seventh-day Adventist Christian with a story that I hope will benefit someone. My life growing up was pretty difficult. My mother was hooked on heroin and my dad used methamphetamine. He abandoned us when my sister was born. I was 2 years-old. My sister and I were with our mom until she was murdered 3 ½ years later over some drugs. I have a memory of mom's boyfriend hitting her with a shovel, but I am not sure if it is a real memory.
Being adopted by a family with two other half-brothers was pretty hard. We were blamed for anything that went down in the house. I was even locked in my room for months at a time, as was my sister.
After being there ten years, I decided to run away and ended up getting into trouble with the law. My sister stuck with them, but I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I ended up getting sent to juvenile hall. Eventually I was assigned to different foster homes, but ran away from each one. Out of desperation they sent me to a boys’ ranch, but somehow I managed to run away from there too.
State authorities then sent me to Susanville, California, to a boys’ camp, but I also ran away with one of my fellow inmates. I ended up in Grass Valley, California, where I met Mary (who I later married). I had just turned eighteen years old. Mary got pregnant and had an abortion. Three months later she got pregnant again with my daughter Melissa, who is now ten years old.
I went to work for a Christian contractor in Folsom installing closets. I made pretty good money. Mary wanted me to quit and do something closer to Nevada City, but I liked working for this Christian contractor. There was something different with this guy that I’d never seen in anyone else.
After Melissa was 15 months old, Mary decided to get a job working as a waitress for a Lyons Restaurant. One night she came home acting very strange. The next morning she woke me up to tell me she was in love with somebody else and wanted a divorce.
From Bad to Worse
Unfortunately, I began hanging out with the wrong crowd, doing drugs and partying all night long. As time went by, I saw my daughter less and less.
Eventually, I met another women at an ecstasy party. I was 25 years old and she was 18. We started dating each other, but it didn't last very long because she was going into the Army. Two months later she called to tell me she was pregnant. We knew we weren’t meant for each other.
Suddenly, I realized I had two daughters with two different mothers and I wasn't with any of them. I got very depressed and started blaming God for my problems. In my discouragement I went off the deep end and started using heavy drugs and going to Grateful Dead shows. They were actually called “The Other Ones,” because Jerry Garcia, their original leader, was dead.
I started traveling from state to state using and selling every kind of drug known to man. It got so bad I was jumping on freight trains to get to the next state so I could travel with the band and do drugs. I used all my money for drugs.
During this time I met a guy named Joshua, who became a good friend. We started working and traveling together and enjoying each other's company.
The following year my work slacked off so I traveled and used drugs more. But I was starting to get tired of it all.
One week later I had an encounter with the Lord. Some bikers who had pulled over to the side of the road in Kansas told me their stories. I really felt God’s presence.
Shortly after this I got a ride with a college guy in Kansas. As we rode along, we were talking all kinds of trash and acting proud of ourselves. This made the bikers in Kansas really stand out in my mind because I could tell the positive things that the Lord had done for them. This made a huge impression on me and I felt God's presence. In the next town I walked into a church and prayed.
A week later I arrived in Truckee, California to meet my friend Joshua. He was using and selling marijuana. I told him about my encounters with the Lord and how I wanted to start my business back up again. He told me he knew about the Lord too and that he was finishing his last drug deal for the day and wanted to talk more later.
Instead of following through with our desire to stop using drugs, we decided to have what turned out to be our last Grateful Dead adventure together. This time we didn’t really have as much fun as we used too. We decided to work the following day with my new business. This was August 2003.
Joshua and I worked together for four months. He was reading and praying. I was reading and praying also, and we both felt pretty convicted, but I got back into drugs one more time.
Joshua went to college in Eureka, California, and I moved back to Sacramento and started using drugs again. After a couple months Joshua came down to visit me. My life with drugs had gotten so bad I was near death. He took me up to Eureka and told me more about what he had been learning about the Lord. He told me that Bible study and prayer were the only things that would ever be able to fix my life. He was right. I had had enough.
A New Life
While I was installing closets in a home, I met a couple who showed an interest in hearing my story. They allowed me to live with them while I sobered up. What nice people they were. There names were Robin and Lee. I struggled day after day.
As I read, I prayed for victory from drugs, cigarettes and alcohol, and was delivered on August 5, 2004. Praise God! My life slowly started getting better. By June 2005, I was visiting my daughter again. It had been two and a half years since I had seen her.
Within a year, I had worked enough to begin paying child support for both of my daughters. My friendship with Joshua grew stronger during this time and we became accountability partners. He was still in school and I was living with Robin and Lee. A couple months later I decided to move out on my own and stay in a tiny trailer, usually in State parks. On the weekends I brought my daughter over to Robin and Lee’s home.
The following year I was able to pay off a lot of bills, including some back child support, back taxes, and some old debts with past friends. Saving money, I started to build my closet storage business.
I met this wonderful man named Garry Genser, pastor of the Adventist church in Fortuna, California. He helped me grow in the Lord. We worked together on his property and became really good friends. He baptized me at the Redwood Camp Meeting in northern California..
In my effort to pay off my debts, I reached a point where I couldn’t even afford to live in my little trailer I had. I couldn’t afford the gas to haul it around. So, I lived in a tent for what seemed like forever. God gave me just enough work to pay my debts, but I didn't have much left over. I was discouraged and just barely able to hang on. At times, I couldn’t understand why God wasn't blessing me more. But I kept at it. Praise God, I now have a house to live in where my children can come and visit me.
I’ve been able to show my daughter how to read the Bible and pray and she is talking about wanting to be baptized. I look forward to my relationship with my other daughter being restored. God has given me a new life.
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