Finding Gain Through Pain
By Stan Dixon
When I was five years old I watched my father storm out of the house with cursing and swearing, breaking furniture and vowing never to return. With my father leaving, and my mother before me in anguish and tears, that day was seared in my mind. Those painful moments started me on a journey that eventually led to an encounter with God, but only after several foolish detours.
After my father left, my mother was forced to raise my brother and me by herself in South Central Los Angeles. My spirit was wounded everyday by the meanness and violence perpetrated by kids on our block against my older brother. It wasn't until I reached eleven years of age that I realized God wanted to help me. It was then that I begin to discover who He was and that I could find refuge in Him. I found comfort in Bible reading and prayer.
As time passed, I became distracted. Slowly my love for the Bible was replaced with other things. Without strong parental support in our home, I fell into a downward spiral that led to street gangs, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. I saw friends shot, and I was beaten by 15 rival gang members. Strangely, I didn't return to the refuge I had once found with God.
Military Rescue
The U.S. Navy rescued me. While there I learned discipline, order, and the satisfaction of a job well done. But there were problems too. My time there included two Captains Masts, one summary court martial, 400 volts of raw electrical current pouring into my right arm from a live washer valve, and a 25-foot wave crashing down on me in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean with enough force to bend steel stanchions. But even these were not enough to awaken me to seek the Lord. I would soon encounter pain similar to what I had experienced when my mother and father divorced. Only this time it would be more intense.
After being honorably discharged from the Navy, I set out to discover my destiny—my purpose in life. As a student at El Camino College in Torrance, California, I explored several disciplines (Psychology, Journalism, Communications), and did quite well. But I was also attracted to stand-up comedy. Since there was so much pain in the world, I felt this was one way to make the world a better place. So upon recommendation from my speech teacher, I took my three minute routine to the famed Comedy Store in West Hollywood, where for three years I learned the craft of making people laugh.
Making people laugh had its advantages for a rather shy and reserved person. I was able to meet and develop relationships with the opposite sex in a way that I could not do before. I eventually fell in love and married. We both were very young with poor relational skills and both without God. The relationship soon fell apart and ended in divorce.
When we broke up everything began to fall apart. My purpose, self esteem, and destiny seemed to point toward utter ruin and despair. The pain seemed unbearable. Transcendental Meditiation, psychotherapy, Hinduism, astrology and even comedy did not have the answers nor provide the relief I needed. Then one day on the campus of UCLA I remember being in conversation with a very happy, mature, Anglo nursing student about all my issues who responded with these words, “Have you tried Jesus?" Immediately I left the conversation and went into my dorm room and cried for an hour asking Jesus to come into my life. From that day on, He began to heal my broken heart and establish my purpose. I am grateful for this final pain in my life because it brought me into a true relationship with Christ.
God graciously led me to a nurturing church family, who helped to guide and mentor me. While attending the University Seventh-day Adventist Church in LA I began to sense a call to ministry. Early one morning I received a call from a prayer partner. After praying with her, I sensed an awesome, majestic presence in my bedroom. The words of Matthew 25 seemed to come alive before my eyes. What happened is beyond description. It seemed that this scripture passage that addresses personal talents, became a living person speaking through living red letters. I was shown that I was the one who had buried his talents in the earth, and God was calling me to take my talents out of the world and surrender them to Him so that He could multiply them and use them to bless others. He revealed to me that life as a stand-up comedian was not His purpose for my life. I started crying and couldn't stop for a long time. I knew it was time to completely surrender my life to God in every way!
God led me into service in my home church where I assisted as a local elder. I also helped evangelists and pastors, and served at youth camps. Then there was an internship at a sister church where I learned to care for the elderly and youth.
Eventually, I attended seminary where God surprised me with another miraculous turn of events. There I met and married my wife Sheena, who is the source of my support and encouragement in ministry. After seminary God called us to several churches within the western United States where we have been given wonderful and rich experiences.
During my 15 years of ministry I have encountered most kinds of human suffering, including death and dying. Specialized training has helped my ministry, however, my preparation in the "school of pain" is what helps me most in dealing with the challenges of brokenness in the Twenty-First Century.
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