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How I Found Jesus
By Allen Brewer
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| Allen Brewer |
I remember hearing a statement, which really didn’t make much sense to me. However, after reading my experience, I am sure that you’ll agree that it all does makes sense now. “Those who can—do; those who can’t—teach.” What does that statement mean?
I remember when I was 12 years old and I got a chance to talk one of the nights of the Youth Week of Prayer. Man, I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I was fearful, yet invigorated by the thought of standing in front of the crowd and delivering my first speech. You see, I was a skinny, short, big-hair, thick-glasses-wearing stuttering child. I was excited of the idea of speaking, but horrified of what I would look like to everyone.
That night was the beginning of something special. After I delivered that awesome message (at least I thought it was), I had decided that for my life's goal, I wanted to be a public speaker; yea, even a preacher. I was on my way.
Fast-forward this story about 7 years. I was developing into a preacher. I was in school to become a minister and was surrounded with many “preacher friends.” Everyone knew me as the “Young Preacher.” I was well on my way to becoming a “man of God.” I had it altogether.
I was engaged to a young lady—a beautiful girl from the South. She was the epitome of Southern Hospitality. She was a regular ole “Southern Belle.” I was determined to hold on to her, in hopes that one day I might marry her. I knew that she was a Christian girl, by the way she carried herself and that she’d be looking for a well-mannered, Christian young man—probably someone like me. I wanted to make sure that no one else would claim this lady.
During our college time, we would frequently go for walks, talk in the library, or go to her home for a nice, warm, home-cooked meal. This particular afternoon, we decided to go for that meal—thank you Lord, that girl could cook.
We were at her home waiting for the food to be completed. I began to get anxious. I looked into the kitchen and noticed my fiancée working diligently to prepare a hot meal for us to enjoy. As I watched her, different thoughts began going through my mind, thoughts of impurity and immorality. I began thinking things that I knew I shouldn’t have allowed myself to dwell on. Then, just like the Bible writer James said, “My thoughts produced sin.”
I proceeded to the kitchen, where my beloved was and with every one of those immoral thoughts flying through my head and heart, I began to make advances on her. I tried hard to achieve those calls from my head to impurity, but to no avail. As a matter of fact, I was met with a response from her that I wasn’t expecting.
“Allen, what are you doing? Why are you acting this way? You are supposed to be a man of God, right?”
In a moment, in a twinkling of an eye, my whole world came crashing down. I came to myself and relaxed my pursuit. I quickly went and sat down on the couch. I had nothing else to say—I just felt like being alone for the rest of the day.
As I sat in silence, her words pierced me—“a man of God, right?” It was at that moment that I realized that every week, I “preach” to people about loving Jesus and being obedient to Him, when I myself was not obedient. Then as I sat and pondered further, what I noticed was startling. All these years of talking about Jesus I never took time to talk to Jesus! I realized that I didn’t know who Jesus really was. I didn’t know Jesus.
That night I got on my knees and said to Jesus, “Lord, I am sorry for taking advantage of You all these years. You have helped me to be a good speaker, but I have only spoken of you from head knowledge—what I learned of You from the books. Today, Jesus, I want to really know who You are. Please help me to begin this relationship tonight with you. I want us to be friends forever, so that I am not just talking the talk, but I can walk the walk."
The next day, as I got on my knees to pray to Jesus and thank Him for waking me; my words to Him were very simple… “Jesus, help me today not to just teach of You, but to live like You.” Those who can—do; those who can’t… teach.
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